mental health matters – Mentally Okay

I have always been told to do my best, be my best, and when you hear everyone’s growth stories, you see people rise out of the ashes to become some beautiful strong swan from the trenches of darkness.

That’s what it looks like.

But you miss all of the in between stuff. All the behind the scene stuff.

I have grown so much and I have had so many people change their minds about me and admire the growth that I pushed myself through in such a short period of time.

To them, it seems inspiring,

To me, it was a dark dark constant messy loud battle that I sometimes concede to, but end up getting back up and trying again.

I’m fighting thoughts in my mind, I’m talking to myself the whole time. You learn to recognize all your failures, insecurities, and weaknesses. Usually people can see them more than you can. And you face each one of them head on.

And you fail. You will. Don’t ask me how I know. You just will. And you will again. But you get back up, screaming in your own head louder to drown out your thoughts.

You keep going even though you don’t believe the change in decision is actually going to do anything.

You keep going and keep making the decision to take every next step no matter how much you think it wouldn’t work. No matter what anyone says about you. Because people don’t understand the steps your taking.

Because people only think life is one step. Before and after. So they don’t see the turmoil that you go through to get to point A to point B.

So they will see it. They will see you make decisions, and make conclusions, and change your mind, and make new conclusions and new hypothesis about life, until you see yourself as the person you always imagined yourself to be.

And even when you get there. Your still gonna fight battles. It’ll look strong to other people because they aren’t doing the work. They aren’t the one making the hard decisions to stand up again.

The strength is to keep going even though your mind feels like it’s hopeless.

When you reach the beautiful point you have always wanted to be. That strong person, it doesn’t mean you are never afraid anymore. Yeah, you may be able to endure a lot. But you are still fighting a difficult fight. Your just able to last through the turmoil and the storm and make it out the other side when it finally passes. It doesn’t mean the storm is any less strong.

Just know, being a beautiful strong person in the end can be great, but not always a free easy feeling you thought it was going to be. Expect that you will always have to get back up again, and last through the end. It’s being able to emotionally self regulate. It is to find hope even though it feels there is none. It’s to recognize that life is just a series of stories. That’s what makes you strong.

See yourself through. Just last through this story. Until you get to see and experience the next one. You don’t have to like this story, but you can use it to define who you really are in times of trouble.

It’s not easy for anyone. No matter how it looks.

This post is for those with anxiety and have struggled with anxiety for the longest time.

It is not easy to have anxiety, it is overwhelming and takes up so much of our mental space. It is so hard to fight your mind because your mind is such an intimate space. It is literally the space you live in and create reality.

Literally, when people tell me. “Just stop then”. I say, oh okay, great solution, let me just stop years of anxiety just cause I feel like it.

But then it occurred to me that you have a lot more power and control over your mind than you think. It does take effort, but it is possible. You have the power to change how you perceive things.

Just Stop

So, how do you just stop? Just tell yourself, no. Nope, I am not going to obsess over that. And then focus on something in your immediate space.

Everytime your anxiety comes up again, just tell it. “Nah”

Because honestly, you are just wasting your time out here thinking of all the possible ways something can happen like Doctor Strange in Infinity War. This man really took time to see all the million different ways something can play out. And really, what does that really do except cause you more anxiety for the future?

Nothing.

Let life play out the way it plays out. Stay true to yourself, be the best version of yourself. Make the best decisions that you can at the moment. And keep swimming.

Its not easy

As you are reading this, you are probably thinking that I don’t actually have anxiety because it really isn’t this easy. My overthinking abilities and anxiety is so high, that I analyze every situation and a good portion of all the situations, I really am right about.

But I have wasted so much time thinking about it, when I could have just moved on and lived my own life. And either way, life was going to continue and unravel regardless of whether I figured it out or not.

How to deal with the unknown

A lot of anxiety comes from the unknown. Of what is going to happen next. It is fear of the future. But here is my advice:

Let the future unfold – Regardless of that one moment, a lot of factors go into why things don’t work out or why things do work out. More than you may realize.

Be in charge of your actions and reactions – You really can’t control life, but you can control what you do. So at the end of the day, you stand by your actions for every reaction you made. Or you are able to apologize or change your actions in the future if you feel you have made a mistake. Your own actions and reactions should be your only concern. Who you are is your only concern.

Make peace with the unknown – I have been working on this for six years now, and I still constantly struggle with it but I have not given up on myself yet. Make peace with the fact that you don’t know the future. Just make the best decision you can in the present, and you will always know that there is nothing you could have done as long as you did your best, and made sure to protect your peace.

Conclusion

We can’t overthink our way to peace. It just doesn’t work like that. You have to make the active choice everyday when you notice yourself overthinking, to just stop. Tell yourself, “nope, we aren’t going to do that today.” And focus on your present area.

Anxiety is an ongoing pest that will not go away unless we actively make that effort. Remember, your anxiety is lying to you.