There was a quote I heard that says, “Everything works out in the end, and if it hasn’t, its not the end”
And it really got me thinking.
We are all out here, living our stories and our lives, being frustrated in life because the result.
We begin to make conclusions about our lives, and we are always constantly complaining. We think that we aren’t deserving for more, or good things don’t come to us.
Why things seem like they aren’t working out
There could be several reasons why things may not seem like they are working out for you.
It is not your time yet – Maybe whatever you wan’t, is not time for you yet. You may need to learn and grow in order to be ready for what it is that you want. You may not necessarily be ready and life is holding things back for now.
It may not be the way you think – Just because you want something to work out, does not mean that it will work out the way you want it. Be patient, because things may work out, in an unexpected way. And it may work out even better than you could have imagined.
Patience is a virtue – The best things, truly do not come quickly. As you wait, work on yourself to be the best version of yourself, and in time, things will unravel.
What is meant for you will come to you – If you really want a job (literally me right now), you need to realize that just because you really want something, and it inherently may sound good, it may just not be for you. Or it may! Relax, if it is meant for you, it will come to you. If not, there is something waiting, and you just need to be patient!
In the meantime, focus on yourself, your growth, becoming a better person that you would want to be friends with, or be the person that you would want your future significant other to have high standards of, or refine the skills that you would want to hire if you had a job you needed to hire for.
You don’t lose anything from refining your skills and getting better as a human being. You just level up in life as a person, and create more opportunities for yourself, even if the one you want does not work out.
Something I wish I knew as I was getting older is, when you change, you will most likely experience a new response from the people around you.
Life is not an easy experience, and nobody really admits it. But it is. It is a whole mess. For mostly everyone. And as you are living in this life, you are growing, and changing (hopefully) to becoming a better and healthier version of yourself everyday.
There are people around you who will also grow and change. They will grow with you, or faster than you, or may not even grow for a long time because of their stubbornness and pride.
So we are all just living in one difficult world and trying to survive.
In this world, there is you. You are the only one who is living your life and your timeline. As you grow, you change to become what you want to be, what you feel most comfortable to be, or you may just be exploring different parts of yourself. You could also be in a dark period of your life. Regardless, you will change.
You will find your boundaries, find your new hobbies and interests, find out what makes you feel happy, and what makes you feel uncomfortable. And you start acting on those new discoveries.
At the end of the day, you are living your own life, and discovering what would make you feel the happiest and most fulfilled in life, and what is your most authentic self.
When you change and grow, there are three types of people:
Person 1: People who will love your growth and grow with you
Person 2: People who will hate you for your growth
Person 3: People who will try to adjust to your growth
You want to stay around the people who love and encourage your growth. They love you the most. They want you to be your best self, and do whatever it takes to keep you happy.
The people who hate you for your growth may feel resentful towards you. Tell you that you think you are better than them, and reflect all their insecurities on to you.
And the people who will try to adjust to your growth are pretty non problematic. They will just reconstruct their idea of you from a distant and go with the flow.
What if it is negative change?
In our lives, we are constantly learning and changing and trying new things. So what if we are trying something that is negative. What are the responses?
Person 1: Will always have your back and be by your side, no matter what changes are made. They will tell you their concerns but have your back always. They will always be there for you because they love you.
Person 2: Will shove in your face that you are changing and being a bad person, and maybe even leave you because you did not live up to their standards of what they want you to be.
Person 3: May whisper concerns behind your back but not really do anything about it.
Why am I talking about the three different types of people? Because I want you to identify what is normal in your life. This happens, people respond in all different ways. I am sure there are more different types of people than this, but these are the most typical responses.
Person 1 is the person you want to be friends with. They will always be there for you through the thick and the thin, and they made their choice to love you unconditionally. That is a person you need to cherish.
Person 2 is the person who loves you under condition. They want you to be what they want you to be. They refuse to accept any version of you that is not what they have always known, and there is a good chance that they won’t accept your change because they themselves can’t change.
Person 3: This person isn’t bad, but they are just there. They aren’t really your friends. They care about you but not enough to be someone you keep close.
Moral of the story
These responses are normal. When you change, there will be a shift in your environment. You can’t do something different and expect no kind of reaction and change. But you cannot stay the same forever at the same time.
So when you choose to express yourself and change. Mentally prepare yourself for it, and expect it. Expect the responses and instead of seeing it as rejection or approval, see it as an indicator of who you need to filter out of your life and who you need to cherish.
If you have been throwing a pencil at the wall for quite some time, you can’t expect the same outcome if you decide to throw a bowling ball. If some factor changed, there will be a different outcome.
Expect change when you change. Use it to reveal who you want to keep in your life.
If you are in your mid to late twenties, there is a good chance that you grew up, being told that college was the way to go, forced to pick a degree that made stable sense.
We did everything we were supposed to do, and now we are in our mid to late twenties, realizing we don’t like the trajectory that our life is going.
But now you are here, forced to self reflect during the pandemic and realizing that the life you are living may not be the one you want, but you are way too far into it to change your mind.
Not everyone in their twenties are like this, some of us know exactly what we wanted to do and are on the path that we have always wanted to be.
But if you are not in that category, and you struggle to be stable and know how you want to spend your days, keep these in mind:
You are not old.
Often times we are pressured to believe that the moment we hit 25, we are considered old. We should have had our entire life together by now.
But think about how crazy that is. Why should we have it all together by 25? That is literally one quarter or even one third of our lives (because the life span is getting shorter for most people).
What are you going to do for the rest of your life? Chill and be content with your life’s work as you were growing up and learning how to be human? You have so much life ahead of you to pursue whatever you want.
Mindset is everything.
I met this 92 year old woman at Walmart one day. She was the supervisor of two departments, and she was up and active as if she was 60 years old. We asked her, what is the secret of happiness and life?
And she just told us to keep going, keep busy, keep doing things. She has been living without her husband for 20 years.
Just because you hit 60 years old does not mean you suddenly become immobile and unable to think or do anything. It truly depends on what you want out of yourself and your determination.
At 25, you just started your independency. You just began to learn about who you are as a person in this world. How you contribute to the world, what the world is really even about. Why should you have it altogether by then?
You have so much more time than you think.
2. Be creative.
When it comes to going for your dreams, we have a tendency to feel as though stability is our enemy.
You don’t have to go for your dreams full time. You can work part time for your dreams until they can afford to be full-time. Save some money, pay the bills.
If the industry you are looking at is too saturated and you are not willing to take that risk, in what other ways does your talents make money?
Are bills too high? Think of people, think of ways to save money. Get a roommate, live in someone’s basement. Maybe a friend is struggling on rent. Live in their basement to help both of you save money for the time being.
3. Spend your life the way you want to.
Whether it is sitting in a silent office for 8 hours a day, or playing with dogs all day, or work on the computer wherever you go, spend your life the way you want to.
You have one life, and it does not have to go the way societal norms deems as successful. It can just be to fulfill your life the way you were meant to be fulfilled.
4. Make sure you are fulfilled.
Everyone feels fulfilled in a different way because everyone was born with different talents and gifts. That means, no matter what anyone else tells you is good for you, they only know what would be good for them. You know what fulfills you and gives you life.
Ask yourself, what makes YOU tick? How can you integrate that in your everyday life?
5. You have one life.
You really have this one life. Do you want to waste it in doing what everyone expects of you and live chained to what other people want for your life? Or do you want to discover what fulfills you and your time?