Disclaimer: I did not think of these, I discovered these on tiktok from a user named @shaynateresetaylor.
So on tiktok, I came across this beautiful video. The Seven Lovely Logics. I was surprised when I heard this because I don’t hear many people giving advice like it. But, these are some inspirations that I live by, so, aside from the video, I wanted to share and explain each one.
SEVEN LOVELY LOGICS
- Make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil your present.
- What other’s think of you is none of your business
- Time heals almost everything… give the time, some time.
- No one is the reason for your happiness except yourself.
- Don’t compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.
- Stop thinking too much, it’s okay not to know all the answers.
- Smile, you don’t own all the problems in the world.
I can promise you from my own experience, if you live these, whole heartedly, you will become a more peaceful and happier person. But what does these even mean? I gotchu.
Make peace with your past so it doesn’t spoil your present.
Most of us have some kind of trauma or bad experience that we don’t want to relive or we still feel triggered by. If you start boiling up or getting angry at a small situation, you may somehow feel triggered. You may have trauma that you shove in the back of your head until it disappears so you never have to experience it in your mind again.
Trust me, I have and had all of it. I try to ignore my darkest moments and focus on happier times, but thats not how memory works. It may come back and flash as a memory in your mind again. You may feel a lot of fear because that person is still out there and has the power to hurt or even harm you again.
Depending on the trauma that you have, remind yourself that you are in a safe space right now, and right now, everything is okay. Does it mean everything is okay in the future? No, but it is a start to prepare you to make peace with your past.
You can’t control the future, but you cannot live in your past, and your present is being wasted in the thoughts you cannot control.
So how do we make peace with our past? When you are in a safe place, acknowledge that it is the past, and take the time to remember the past. Remember it and start writing and feeling your most honest emotions. What you were feeling and why you were feeling it.
Validate it. You felt that way for a reason, and you have every right to feel what you feel. Does not mean you were in the right of the situation, does not mean you are being selfish if you don’t look at that perspective. Just validate that your experience really did bring you pain and it is something that you couldn’t understand, and did not know how to process.
Acknowledge it. Acknowledge that this was uncharted territory that you did not know how to manage your way through. Then acknowledge and accept what happened. I know it’s painful. I know that some trauma we have is trauma we refuse to accept as a part of our lives and a part of our history. But you can not get rid of it without accepting that it did happen and what happened happened.
What other’s think of you is none of your business
This one is my favorite because I have spent my entire life caring about other people’s opinions of me. It was my entire personality. The moment I was fully free from it, I had no idea who I even was and how I contributed to the world because I spent most of my growing life trying to be everything that was loved and adored.
What other people think about you is not your business. It quite frankly isn’t. This is how the power of perspective comes into play.
Everyone has their own perspective of the world and no two is the same. That means, people make assumptions about you immediately. Some more stubborn than others, but as they get to know you more (if they choose) they need to break down their understanding of you and rebuild it again.
Their perspective of you is also built from their own experiences, and because you have not lived the way they have lived and processed it, it is not the one you live. The image that you are fighting in your everyone’s mind is everyone else’s understanding of every individual experience in life. So their perspective of you, is a reflection of how their view life. Even your parents or your best friend. And someone else’s understanding and perspective of life is truly not your business, but theirs to processes and build.
Time heals almost everything… give the time, some time.
I remember when I was in college, I would tell myself that I would be different, I would heal quickly and change quickly if people saw something undesirable in me. I thought, because I can control my actions, I can change easily. I just need to be consistent.
That is definitely not the case. You need to trust time. If you have flashes of memories that you do not want to remember anymore, don’t shove it in the back of your mind. Embrace it. Acknowledge that you are sad or you are still hurt, but it isn’t your current reality and time will heal you. Then after you acknowledge the feeling, move on to your immediate surroundings.
This will help you not to avoid the memory, but to acknowledge it, but also acknowledge where you are now. You are no longer running away.
No one is the reason for your happiness except yourself.
This goes for all emotions. Stop blaming your emotions on other people. Other people did not make you feel anything. You have complete control over your emotions, and if you don’t, you need to work on yourself.
Someone can try to hurt you, but you can be so secure in yourself, that their comments or actions don’t hurt at all. It truly is the way you take it and perceive the situation.
Yeah, if someone cheats on you, you probably will hurt. That’s okay to hurt, but stop practicing blaming your emotions on other people, just acknowledge that this situation hurt you and you’re going to need to take time to heal. But at the end of the day, nobody is responsible for how you feel, choose how you respond and feel towards people. Be who you want to be.
That being said, don’t blame your eternal unhappiness on someone who did something that isn’t what you wanted them to do. Choose to find peace in your heart even though there is a storm around you. It is possible. I am thriving right now and I have petty people trying to drag me down, but it no longer hurts me because I chose to learn my value.
Don’t compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.
Everyone’s idea of success is different. Mine used to be money and marriage status, because that is what my mother always wanted for me. But now it is happiness and kindness. That is my measure of success.
Not only is everyones personal definition of success different, but you don’t know what people are going through in order to have gotten where they are now. You don’t know what hurt them or pushed them.
Maybe you are upset that people have a group of friends and you have always wanted one. You see them laughing on the street going to eat together. You don’t know what is happening between closed doors. Maybe a girl is backstabbing her friend, or they are all leaving another friend out.
Or even perfect relationships. I am convinced that the longer the post, and the more frequent the post, the more unhappy the relationship is. It almost seems like they are posting enough to convince themselves that they are okay. People have gotten good at hiding what does not seem perfect.
Measure your own life with your own progress. How far did YOU come? Are you proud of that growth in yourself if you had only yourself to compare?
Stop thinking too much, it’s okay not to know all the answers.
The unknown is such a scary place to be. We often don’t want to be in the unknown. We want to know what’s coming so we can be prepared for it. Why is that? How did we get to that point?
It is okay not to know. Ignorance is sometimes bliss.
Make the unknown exciting. What is next in your life? What new adventures will come your way that you never expected! Life is full of surprises, trust the path that the universe wants to give you.
At the end of the day, really meditate on enjoying the process, because you will miss all the beautiful flowers on the way.
Smile, you don’t own all the problems in the world.
Yes, the world sucks. And we feel for all these people, but find what you are grateful for in your heart. Show yourself gratitude for how far you came and who you are, and where you are in the path of who you want to be. Take a second to be thankful for all the blessings that have already come your way.
Living this way did not take me a day or a month or even a year. Living this way took me years of constant self reflection. To be as happy and at peace as I am now. I went from wanting to unalive myself, to living my life to the happiest and fullest and loving all my friends and family.
I got to this point because I had people in my life that pushed me to the limit. Who wanted to make sure that I believed I wasn’t worth it. And I did believe it. But a little part of me didn’t think that was right and I refused to feel like that anymore. I refused to let anyone take my joy and peace from me.
I changed when it pushed me to the limit. But you don’t have to wait that far. Maybe I had to be pushed in order to bloom like a flower. Maybe you don’t need to.
Get back up. You only fail when you choose to fail. The other side is so beautiful.