When you start healing, whether you have just started and decided to heal and grow, or you’ve been on the long path of healing and it just seems like there is always another thing to heal through, making changes and keeping up those habits sometimes feels like the most difficult things to do.
Making changes – meaning, being kinder to people, communicating better, cooking more frequently for yourself, cleaning up more often, saving money and taking care of yourself.
These are really difficult tasks to manage, but we have been told to force ourselves to do these things to take care of ourselves, and in theory, yes it does help. But let me tell you why it isn’t entirely helpful.
When you are growing and trying to take care of yourself, it takes a lot of will power to get off of social media, get out of bed, start to cook yourself food or clean up. And at times you are not ready to, and sometimes you never will be ready.
We have a tendency to look at video montages of girls glowing up and becoming “that-girl” within a ten second clip, when it took them an entire year, and we force ourselves to be all that, and after a week or so, we get discouraged because we aren’t there yet.
Growing and healing is a long on going process. I have been really good at being social for the longest time. It was a struggle that I pushed myself to do, but this week, I could not handle everyone. I felt like I give and give, and I don’t get back, and people are living selfishly, not caring how they effect others.
I mean, as they should, but it would have been nice.
Anyways, I took this week off of communicating with friends and hanging out with people. (You truly see who your real friends are). And sometimes that will happen. I am really far into my healing journey. And it’s almost been a year. It started when I moved out at the end of July. But healing is not linear, nor has it ever been. And you will have times where you need a break. The break will not be the same intensity as before and the same duration, but you may have breaks. It is completely normal.
So how do you make changes in your life without so much pushback?
I, genuinely, believe that as you work on your inner self, your self esteem, your anxiety, the motivation for the rest will naturally come. The more you self reflect, the more you work on healing your inner child, fighting the depression, shoving away the anxiety, the more you want to do it.
So, one by one, if brushing your teeth is the only thing you can push yourself to do, try to do that consistently for a while until you feel ready to take on a new task. Then after that, start with just making sure your make up desk is tidy at least once a week. Or attempt to make your bed daily. And if you need to keep buying those food deliveries to feed yourself in the time being, go ahead. Is it taking all the possible savings you could have? Who cares.
What kind of life would you even have if you don’t take care of your current self and heal out of everything you need to heal from. Spend that money, go get that coffee until you want to learn to make your own coffee’s at home because you want a new hobby.
Until you have the mental capacity to do it, get the help you need, and give yourself that grace, and focus all your energy into healing your inner self.
If you need to spend money on a therapist but your scared cause it takes a lot of money? Do it. You are an investment, and you are worth the money that is spent. You need to believe that you are worth the money that is spent on therapy. Worth the money to save your mental health now, so that you can live a thriving quality life in the future.
It is a long journey. It is one that needs to be a priority so that the rest of your life can be lived in the way you deserve to live.
Don’t worry if you aren’t “that girl”. You will be “that girl” when your mind is ready for that next step. And that is when those changes within you will truly change and truly stick.