You Do Not Need to Attend Every Argument You Were Invited To

So I was scrolling through Tiktok I saw this video of this teacher teaching her student’s some valuable lessons, and was touched by what she shared and wanted to talk about it.

She said:

  1. You do not have to attend every argument you were invited to.
  2. If you are arguing with someone you love, the goal should not be to win, but to find peace.
  3. If you argue to win, you need to be okay with losing part of that relationship.
  4. You are allowed to grow from your mistakes.
  5. Unless you are finding a solution, the one who shouts the loudest is usually the greatest fool.
  6. it’s okay to start over.

I loved the fact that this teacher shared all of these encouraging life lessons because it truly is difficult to live in this world. So lets talk about what she said.

  1. You do not need to attend every argument that you were invited to
    • If someone tries to pick a fight with you, and start something, you have every right not to join in that conversation. You have every right to not be a part of it and take yourself out. Yes, it may go on without you, but it is happening without you. Do what it takes to find your peace. And remember that your own actions speak louder than what people say your actions are.
  2. If you are arguing with someone you love, the goal should not be to win, but to find peace
    • The only reason you would fight someone to win, is if you care more about your ego and pride than the other person. If you truly care about the person that you are arguing with, your goal should be to figure it out, to understand where each other is coming from, and is to find peace in the situation.
  3. If you argue to win, you need to be okay with losing part of that relationship
    • If you are arguing just to win, it may be peaceful after, but the other person has made decisions. They could decide that they no longer feel safe to completely open up to you and they will hide it from you. If you are arguing to win, people may not feel like its worth trying to work things out with you and you will lose meaningful relationships. Arguing to win is purely out of pride and ego, and its not worth losing people over.
  4. You are allowed to grow from your mistakes
    • I think this is the hardest for me because I can be forgiving to my mistakes and others, but because I am also a people pleaser, I feel as though, if people don’t think I deserve to move on and grow, then I should not forgive myself until they do. Which is such a harmful way of thinking. It is nice to receive forgiveness, but at the end of the day, you need to forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes to become a better version of yourself.
  5. Unless you are finding a solution, the one who shouts the loudest is usually the greatest fool-
    • What this really means is that, the person who goes around sharing and spreading all their rumors and opinions about someone, is the fool because they are the ones who is trying to convince everyone and themselves of their opinion because at the end of the day, they know its not true or they feel some kind of shame or want to hide something.
  6. it’s okay to start over-
    • It truly is okay to start over and be different. If you don’t like yourself, don’t wait until everyone is ready for you to be different. There will never be a time where everyone will forgive you or think its time for you to be different. Or maybe there is. But at the end of the day, no matter what, you can start over and over and over again to keep trying to be a better person no matter what.

Summary

I know it is difficult to interact with people sometimes, and sometimes, its the hardest to forgive yourself because you are the one living with your mistakes, but you can forgive yourself and move on. You are allowed to start over and change. No matter who is ready for you to change or who will believe you.

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