I used to be very insecure about what people thought about me. What other people may have heard about me, what other people judged me for and what they shared with other people about their judgements of me.
I have almost lost a good group of friends because of rumors and assumptions about me that were not true. Which has made me paranoid of every conversation behind my back.
I did not know I was undoing a previous assumption about myself until I have pushed past my social anxiety to chat with some people, and I frequently got the response of “You are not like what I heard you were like”. Quite honestly, I have gotten that quite a few times in my lifetime, and it is a bit frustrating because as I am battling with social anxiety, someone else is free to share all of their assumptions about me to anyone they want.
So, for the longest time, I would constantly think about what people think about every action that I made and it was exhausting to me. I would hate living in my own brain.
Until I came to a point where I told myself, The way they decide to process and understand information is not my problem.
They are capable of making their own conclusions. And trying to control the way everyone decides to process and believe things is exhausting. You have to manage your own mind, but you are trying to manage everyone else’s.
If someone decides to assume something about you and proceed spread information about you, they are that kind of person and will proceed to think that way until they are ready to change. They will do it to you and will do it to others, and people will know it.
If someone easily believes everything they hear, they have a lot more than your rumor to deal with learning. If they easily share that rumor, they have a lot more than just their opinion of you to deal with.
At the end of the day, people are people, and they have their own lives and their own issues that they tend to reflect upon others when they cannot deal with and need to heal with it themselves.
Not to say that to put it in their face, but to say that to understand that it is not a fight worth fighting.
The way you should ease your mind is that you should keep holding true to your actions because you are only responsible for your own actions. The people who want to understand you, will take the time to understand you and will see who you are. The people who just want to fulfill a selfish need, won’t, and that is a problem far beyond you.
Keep being kind to others, keep being the best version of you, and your actions will be louder than someone else’s words.
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