This is not going to be a full on advice blog you could probably get something out of. But I just wanted to share my two cents this morning about how I have been feeling lately.
I am almost 30 years old. I am going to turn 28 in April, which is kind of crazy to me because I feel like I should be 21 right now. Regardless, I am getting older and time is not slowing down. It is only getting faster and it will leave me in the dust whether I am ready or not.
Yes, I grow over time, things happen in life. So many things will happen in your life that you don’t expect. If your life is boring, my dear, you are a lucky one. I wish I could go back and make my life boring. Boring is safe, boring means that you can choose what gives you excitement and life.
Whole paragraph of what I am tired about (You can skip this) – I am so tired of feeling anxiety, being depressed, caring about what everyone thinks of me, caring about fitting their rules of what they think is right or not, being everything for everyone and still not being enough at the same time, male species feeling entitled to women’s thoughts and body, having to beg for everyone’s approval, being angry, upset, arguing, and standing up for myself, having to compete with other people or deal with people trying to pry at me. I don’t care for it. It is exhausting.
People are relentless. I don’t know where they get this energy to attack other people. Insecurity gives people a lot of drive.
This does not necessarily mean that I hate everyone and hate people and hate life. I mean, sometimes I do, but that is also tiring as well.
But, it just means at 28, I just want to live a peaceful life, and I know I have a whole long way to live. It means I am just tired of the pettiness of the world and I just need to move on from it. More people than you know, feel entitled for you to live your life revolved around them and it is exhausting.
So I will.
Somehow I will learn how to live to not care anymore. Live to be a lot freer. I don’t know if this is too vulnerable. Almost hypocritical because I give mental health advice.
Reality: But honestly, this is the reality of it. Your mental health will go up and down and this entire life is just us having to deal with it and get through it. Some days, you will be on top of the world, and some you won’t.
Overtime, you will get better and better and the dark moments of your life won’t be that dark anymore. But you have to go through the ups and downs as you heal.
If you are like this, let’s conquer this together. It won’t be easy, but it will be a journey and a support group. I don’t know if this helps anyone, but, thanks for reading!