For the longest time, I have been around people who believed they were entitled to anything that wanted out of me.
Or maybe they weren’t entitled but they sure acted like it.
They acted like I had to give up my personal secrets because the status of our friendship or relationship, or I had to give up my body because I have given it before.
And the worst thing that I did, was believe them. Believed that because they decided to share a secret with me, it would be wrong for me to not share back. Or give up my body because I have already given it up, but if I didn’t want to, I had to promise to never to give myself to anyone else. Even though we were going our separate ways. Honestly, I should’ve lied. It would’ve gotten me out of the situation faster.
Or doing something for someone because the favors they have done for me were always transactional. I never agreed to it, but I am apparently forever indebted because their favors cost that much.
Was I a pushover? Or were these people especially entitled narcissists.
I want to say that it was both. I was a pushover. I never wanted to stand up for myself because I always chose to understand others, but I didn’t understand what boundaries meant. Also, they were mentally ill. I’m not gonna sugar coat it.
I am still a little angry about it honestly. I don’t know how I didn’t see the red flags. I don’t know why I never felt like I was allowed to draw a line and stand up for myself. But, I guess I learned very late.
So if you are struggling with people feeling entitled to you, here are some things to remember:
- No Matter what has happened, nobody is entitled to anything from you.
- At the end of the day, you are the only one who can keep standing up for you.
- You have every right to keep your boundaries, and you don’t need to prove it to anyone. Just being born as a human, you have those rights.
- Love yourself, take care of yourself how you would take care of someone you love and care about.
- Remember, you don’t owe anyone ANYTHING, and nobody is entitled to ANYTHING from you.
I do regret being a pushover and falling into the wrong crowd. All I truly wanted was to be valued as a human. And for some reason it was really hard to find that. And I don’t know why it took 27 years to realize that I have value and I didn’t have to beg for it, or I didn’t have to listen to what anyone and everyone told me to do.
So, if you are someone who struggles with this. Start now. You 100% have every right to keep whatever you want to yourself, give whatever you want of yourself to others. You don’t need to prove that to anyone. You don’t need to convince anyone. Anyone who makes you give a part of you that you don’t want to, does not respect you, and only cares about themselves.
Value yourself. Period. If you feel like you need a history to decide whether you are able to value yourself, forget it. Start over. You should’ve valued yourself from the start. So if not then, start now.
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